My Mary Story (so far)
What makes this even more amazing to me, is that I was raised Methodist, where Mary is not really spoken of except at Christmas. When I was a little girl I was a very spiritual and faithful. Jesus was foremost in my thoughts. I would sing songs about Him while I played on my swing set in my backyard. When I made my confirmation I saw white images gathered up at the altar which made me feel overwhelmed with light and I was filled with awe and almost passed out. That is when I knew there was ‘more’ out there. Not only was it my church confirmation it was also my ‘confirmation’ that all was not as it seemed. I also need to add that I was and still am a very vivid dreamer and I have always listened to the messages in my dreams.
After my confirmation experience I felt the church lacking somehow and that the feminine was missing. So I left the church to follow my own path which naturally led me to more goddess centered faiths. I did feel very at home once I knew there was a divine feminine and I knew this is what I was looking for. I researched many goddesses and different faiths including Native American, Hindu, Buddhist, Wicca, and so on, always finding the positive in these faiths, always drawn to the feminine aspects in them. As I read about different goddesses I always felt that something was missing, none were quite right. The funny thing was that I kept looking for a goddess in a prayerful pose dressed in robes. The closet thing I ever found was when I read the book and watched the movie The Priestess of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley. These women were devoted to the goddess. They wore robes and had blue crescent moons on their foreheads. This is what I wanted. Since Methodists for the most part, only take Mary out at Christmas and then put her back with the other nativity figures – Mary did not pop into my head, but as you see I was getting close – the devotion, the robes, the crescent moon……
This whole course of events took about 35 years since I had left the church at age 15. I am now 54 and two years ago my life changed forever in the best way possible. Right before that life-changing event however, I had a profound dream where my angel showed up bright and large in front of me. She touched me on the forehead and told me I was no longer going to follow my goddess path that there was something more for me. I was upset, surprised, and confused. What else was there? What else indeed.
A few months later I was on Ebay looking for vintage jewelry and a large Miraculous Medal was listed. Hmmm there was Mary – I felt instantly drawn to that medal. I bid on it and won it for a couple of dollars. It was tarnished and sold as is. While I waited for it to arrive I went back over my journals and saw so many dreams that I had had with clues about Mary. In one dream my diseased father had told me to look for a woman in blue robes with stars on them. I had even drawn a picture in my journal of theses robes. Anyone who has any idea of Mary would have known that was about her right away but not me. There were many other clues as well. So on New Years Eve 2009 the medal arrived. I cleaned it and it turned out be sterling silver!! It also said on the reverse “Children of Mary Convent of the Visitation”. I put it on my nightstand and went to bed.
That night a miracle happened. I dreamed that Mary herself stood in front of me dressed in beautiful blue and white robes with a smile on her face – she was all bright and surrounded by light. In her hand she had that very same Miraculous Medal and she was holding it out to me. She said these exact words, “Put this medal on a string and wear it close to your heart always”. When I woke up I knew my life had changed. I felt like I was in love, I was like new. I immediately put the medal on a chain around my neck and I haven’t taken it off since.
The next day I researched the medal, since I knew nothing about it, or Mary, for that matter. Between then and now I have had many many dreams of Mary, Jesus and saints. In one dream Mary asked me to make rosaries so I researched them and bought one on Etsy to study. Now here I am on Etsy selling rosaries and other holy art – and finally after all this time at age 54, I am doing what I love to do – combining my art and holiness, and all because I listened to my dreams and Mary. I need to also say that different saints have shown up in my dreams as well and since I did not know anything about them I researched them and found out so many amazing things. Each saint dream is a story in itself. I feel truly blessed.